“Cheating” doesn’t always mean actual sex. Sometimes, sexual desire gets diverted by the use of pornography or internet chatting. Other times, there is no sexual component, but an intense emotional relationship develops outside the marriage or committed relationship. Either way, the shift of sexual or emotional energy outside of the primary relationship hurts trust. Often this occurs when communication has been shut down. One or both partners feel stagnate in the relationship, or partners are not able to get their need for intimacy and closeness met for some reason.
You can repair your relationship – even if there has been an affair. It’s not easy, but it’s possible. If your partner has had an affair or some form of infidelity, you may wonder if you are ever going to trust him/her again and how long will it take. Rebuilding trust requires work on both sides. If you want to forgive your partner, it’s important to recognize the efforts he/she is making to regain your trust. And if you’re the one who has cheated, it’s essential to be patient and willing to be fully open and transparent, reassuring your partner as often as needed.
Therapy is useful in uncovering the weaknesses in the relationship that led to the affair in the first place. Through therapy, you can each develop a deeper understanding of your needs, find new ways of expressing those needs, and cope with disappointment when your partner can’t be there for you the way you want them to. When you understand the underlying reasons for each others’ behavior and choices, then it’s easier not to take them personally. You can see them as human beings, struggling with all of life’s challenges. Forgiveness, love and trust can be restored.
There’s a terrific amount of knowledge in this article!